Four times a year we get together with our DrivenWoman members for a social night out, an evening to have fun, drink a little wine and take time off from our drivenness, just to enjoy life. Last Thursday we spend an evening getting to know the studio and story behind a contemporary shoe brand FINSK in Fitzrovia, Central London. The shoes are really gorgeous and funky. Designer Julia Lundsten takes her inspiration from art and architecture, and translates it into her shoe designs.
One girl fell in love with a pair of purple heels that looked absolutely stunning on her. The other wanted to walk out with a pair of hot, black ankle boots and another was ready to take on the world in a pair of pony fur pumps.
Every single woman in that showroom had a lot of fun trying on those beautiful shoes. We fell in love, we prayed (for more money) and we laughed - all for shoes. The shoes made us look sexy, confident and that we were going places! Ah, who wouldn't want that.
There was just one obstacle standing between us and a pair of those amazing shoes. Our own image of self-worth.
"Do I deserve these shoes?" was the question that begged for an answer.
Ok, FINSK shoes are not inexpensive. One pair sets you back around £400 to £600, but for that you get an amazing pair of shoes that can transform your day, perhaps your life.
The price tag offers a good rationale though. "I can't possibly spend this much money on myself when there's bills to pay and necessary things to do."
Or can I? How necessary really are all of those so-called necessary things? Did they become necessity out of a convention? It's much easier to say you spend money on others than on yourself as you don't have to justify it. But how necessary would a little dose of self-love be? Why do women leave their own needs so often the last?
I wrote in an earlier post how a purchase of a pair of pink shoes was a manifestation of a new direction in my life. With a pair of outrageously sexy pair of shoes I literally put my foot down. From that day on I was in charge of my life, and I deserved it. I'd bought the shoes, despite knowing that my at-the-time husband wouldn't approve. The decision to stop asking for an approval changed my life.
And there I was, in a room full of women as gorgeous as the shoes they were trying on, asking for an approval to love themselves.
I decided to imagine another room, a room full of baby girls. And if I'd tell you that every single baby in that room will deserve to buy any pair of beautiful designer shoes when they grow up you would believe me because we're all born equally lovable and equally worthy. Then life happens and instills a nagging self-doubt that perhaps not me, but the others, deserve those shoes.
Women's magazines are full of successful women sharing the secrets of their wardrobe and usually the shoe collection is the real point of envy. I'm just leafing through the latest Elle magazine where Sandra Choi (Jimmy Shoo's Creative Director) reveals she's got 614 pairs of shoes! Does she think she hasn't deserved them? I don't think so.
I'm not after that many pairs of shoes, and the number doesn't even matter. Everyone has a different relationship to material things. I don't suggest a shopping spree or reckless spending on designer shoes either. Self-worth isn't measured in the number of shoes you own. Money can't buy us love, they say, and neither can shoes.
But I do suggest that if you at some point come across a pair of beautiful shoes that look fantastic on you and give you an instant boost of confidence (oh yes, shoes can do that!) there's nothings in this universe that should suggest you haven't deserved them!
We all have deserved to enjoy life and to have fun, and occasionally invest into a little bit of extravaganza on ourselves.
Have a great week and please share in the comments if you come across any fun ways to express self-love!