To kick things off, I asked Jane to share her definition of success.
"I want to have a personal impact with people around me. I want to see people step into their own potential and feel encouraged and valued. For me success is about a feeling of fulfilment. This quote by Tony Robbins really resonates with me: 'Life is a gift. It offers us the opportunity, the possibility and the responsibility to give something back by becoming more.' "
-- Ah she speaks DrivenWoman language! We boldly celebrate our talents. That's the only way to feel connected. You can't really help anyone if you keep your gifts hidden.
What tools can you offer to people who are keen to get to that place of fulfilment and meaning?
- Clarity of purpose. For me that means making a positive contribution to others every day and helping them to think independently. Knowing what I want helps me get up in the morning and I'm eager to do it!
- Knowing your core values. For instance, before staring a family with my husband we sat down and defined our core values, one of which was to have a sense of adventure. It's easy to make decisions on what we do on holiday for instance, when we are all clear on our values as a family. It works equally well on my core values about my work and how I treat my clients - with respect and making them feel that they matter.
- Playing to your strengths. It's important to know what you are good at. Helping other people to recognise their strengths can be a powerful way for you to achieve your goals.
"Having a clear purpose helped me to define how I built my business as a coach. I was clear on my values on who I wanted to become as a mum, but also who I wanted to become as a coach. This clear definition helped me to make decisions that were right for me. That decision to try to balance family and work life has fuelled my professional success." Jane explains.
That doesn't sound too difficult, does it?
So I'm puzzled as why people don't pay more attention to making good and informed decisions.
What stops us from being clear on our purpose?
Jane explains that it's so easy to get caught up in the everyday life circumstances. Being busy is a modern symptom of not connecting. Most of us don't give ourselves the permission to stop and to think and to reflect on those core values.
- Why are you doing what you are doing?
- For what purpose are you doing what you are doing?
- What will be the impact of all of your decisions on your life and the life of others?
It is easy to overlook our own capacity to live intentionally.
When we give time to ourselves to make good decisions and start to understand the role they play, we can start to live intentionally rather than going around living some random approach to our lives. It's this 'hope for the best' attitude that leaves us unfulfilled and dissatisfied because we haven't lived purposefully.
Second point she raises about not making good decisions is that sometimes we get caught up living with our own assumptions or limiting beliefs. These perceptions, if left unchecked, are often untrue and can lead us to a wrong path. It's important to stop and challenge those assumptions about ourselves, others and our situations to become more liberating.
Are you afraid to make good decisions? This might have to do with fear about dealing with the consequences of that decision rather than the decision itself.
If you are clear on your purpose you can conquer fear of a decision that takes you outside of your comfort zone.
I believe women are on many occasion more afraid of success than they are of failure. I certainly was when starting DrivenWoman. It was my commitment to my values and my purpose that helped me to get over those fears and keep going one step at the time.
We make good decisions in an environment that enables us to think well. An environment where people listen to us and want to hear our stories helps us think better. And when we hear our own story it allows us to change it. You can ask yourself, is my story serving me, and if not you can change that story and make a decision that serves you better in the future.
Interestingly, Jane directs us to a supportive environment, such as DrivenWoman, where you can hear your own story and reflect on it, and then make better decisions. And learn from the stories of others.
Jane Adshead-Grant helps leaders achieve more for themselves and their business, through developing personal leadership and independent thinking skills.
Join Jane at a DrivenWoman workshop - Good Decision Making - on Tuesday 10. October 2017 in Soho, London. More info and tickets here.
Watch Jane's full interview on our YouTube channel.