Do you sometimes wish you had more willpower to do things that feel tough? Are you searching for motivation to accomplish hard tasks? We tend to blame lack of motivation when we run out of steam but in fact we may not have yet fully committed to our goals or what we think we want isn’t on our soul’s true path.
Many people confuse motivation with commitment. We think we want to get motivated but the road to our goals and dreams goes through deep, personal and unconditional commitment. When we pledge ourselves fully to our purpose we can accomplish actions even when we don’t feel that motivated.
Learn how to become 100% committed to your goals
It's important to discover your internal obstacles for accomplishing difficult things. When you are thoroughly committed to your path making things happen becomes deeply personal. There’s nothing else you would rather do.
If you find yourself always looking for motivation you should ask yourself if the goals you are trying to achieve are really your own, if you are deeply committed to them and if you have made them personal.
There are three steps moving you from seeking motivation to full commitment:
1) Meet your Controller
There’s a little Controller who lives inside all of us. You may call her your inner critic, the one that always nags and judges you. This inner entity is what stops us from fulfilling our biggest potential and living a ‘bigger life’. We need to take a good look at all the expectations that have been put on us in our lifetime that are ingrained in our brains that tell us how we should behave and what is expected of us. The society, our environment and the people in our lives, especially those who we spent time with growing up, have all contributed to our Controller.
You can catch your Controller by recognising who has influenced your life. But don’t worry, everyone has the inner Controller, it’s part of being a human. We take influences from everyone. Now, it is your job to realise if those influences have taken over and you have lost yourself in them giving the Controller the reins.
The reason we need to deal with the Controller is that she usually comes with a lot of judgment. Most parents mean well, but it’s often one or both of our parents who build up the Controller.
“You are not good with maths.”
“Girls must behave nicely.”
“Don’t wear such tight jeans.”
“What will people think if you say out loud what you want.”
“Engineering is not a suitable career for a girl.”
And so on.
A child internalises these statements as an universal truth and it is now your job to challenge those early beliefs.
Interestingly we later in life choose people around us who boost our Controller: a husband who keeps judging the way you look or a boss who doesn’t think you are up for a promotion.
The first step to commitment is to recognise the Controller and differentiate between your own inner voice and the Controller’s voice (inner critic).
2) Gaining exposure
Many women think that with the right amount of motivation they could achieve anything. This puts the power outside of yourself. You will always need someone to motivate you which means you haven’t fully internalised your responsibilities for your goals.
This search for something outside of ourselves is a way of keeping ourselves ‘safe’. Nothing bad can happen when we fail to feel motivated to go after our dreams, or so we think. As long as you keep looking for motivation you haven’t fully exposed your dreams and goals to yourself or others. As long as you stay silent and hide what you really want you are on some level ashamed of it.
Shame is the boundary that keeps fear locked in place. Power stops where fear starts.
The only way to become fully committed to our goals is to expose ourselves and share our goals with the world.
“But what if I don’t reach my goals? Will I look like a fool?”
That’s your ego talking. The ego doesn’t want you to expose yourself because your ego is only interested in keeping you ‘safe’ and losing face would be a catastrophe for the ego.
You have to let go of shame in order to connect to your full power.
We meet many women in DrivenWoman who think their ideas and dreams are out of reach, unrealistic and therefore too shameful to share. “What is the point, this dream is too hard to bring to life…”
Tiia's story was the same. She had a big idea in her heart. It was so big she didn't want to share it with anyone else. Why share something that had practically no chance of becoming a reality? Tiia joined DrivenWoman and heard our motto: it's ok to share ideas, dreams and aspirations that may seem completely out of reach and unrealistic at the time. And that was a beginning of an incredible journey. As soon as she had uttered her dream out loud solutions for the next steps started flowing in. And now that the cat was out of the bag she had to act. She was fully exposed and fully committed.
The dream you don't dare to tell is your most powerful dream!
3) Deep commitment
When you are deeply committed to your goals you will keep going and do whatever it takes to get there. You are not put off by other people’s opinions. Nobody can persuade you to give up or change direction. You are safe in your purpose.
When we expose ourselves to the outside world and share our vision we risk being abandoned. We risk that someone says they don’t love us anymore. We risk that we are no longer welcome to certain circles.
This has been a real issue especially for women because historically women who exposed their dreams and became visible were indeed abandoned, ridiculed and even punished for their ambition and visibility. It is only natural then that many women want to hide in a fear of retaliation.
If you want to feel free and start trusting your journey you will have to risk failure, you will have to risk the fact that someone doesn’t love you anymore or doesn’t like what you have to say or offer. There’s no other way around it.
This is what we practise here at DrivenWoman. We share our real dreams and learn that we are still lovable. We are enough even if our goals don’t happen exactly as we intended them to or if we change them completely or don’t do anything to achieve them. We are enough regardless.
What do you have to make visible in order to deeply commit to your goals?
Stop chasing motivation and start taking steps towards commitment.
Once you are committed you accept each step as it comes. You have committed yourself passionately to the future and have stopped worrying about the past. The past is full of mistakes, judgement, fear and worry. But the future is bright, joyful and light.
Let’s start taking those steps now!
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