However, it's up to you to create your own momentum. Here's four steps on how you can start kicking ass this week:
If you don't commit to improve your situation there isn't much anyone, yourself included, can do for you. You must show up. And you must consistently show up if you want to get anywhere remarkable.
With committing (and showing up) we mean that you must do what ever you have to do to change and move forward. This will definitely include (but not be limited to) the following:
- meet new people -> commit to go to places, meetings and networking events where you can start meeting people who can influence and help you (don't just sign up!)
- learn new skills -> commit to switching off the TV/Facebook/other useless activity and pick up the book next to your night table and actually start reading it instead!
- keep yourself physically fit -> oh yes baby, I'm going to lecture on this. Do at least the minimum to stay fit and make sure you don't eat too much crap because in the long run, it will ruin your chances to be the kind of person who commits!
- make an effort -> commit not to quit. Commit not to be lazy. Example: There are some links in this blog post. I've put them there for you to click through, not to decorate this post or to improve my SEO! I only place links into really good stuff worth reading. Make an effort and click through to learn new things, read about interesting content that might help you and meet (virtually) new people.
Here's an excellent blog post on 'showing up'. If you don't follow Chris Guillebeau's blog yet, now is a good time to start. (Yes, you are meant to click through the link here..)
There is no magic pill (or magic life coach, or magic course or ..)
I hate the sales-pitches you get (especially) from on-line personal development websites and programs that promise to change your life around and make your business an overnight success. There just isn't going to be such luck, girls. Trust me. (We know this and that's why DrivenWoman doesn't ever promise you something stupid like success or offer you anything but hard work..)
If you are stuck, no-one else is going to fix it for you (not even your DrivenWoman group!). If you have been stuck for some time, you clearly need to change something. Or have you not yet heard the definition of stupidity: 'It's to keep doing the same thing over and over, and to expect a different result'.
By all means hire a life coach. Or read a pile of self-help books. Or join our group. All this can be very good for you. It's essential to have some tools and structure for your journey. One person who massively influenced my personal development once said "Use tealeaves [to work on your purpose/dream/development], if you like. As long as you keep working and improving yourself I don't care what the hell it is you use." But ultimately, you can't outsource the responsibility of working hard and changing track - you have to do it.
Berni Xiong offers a refreshing view on 'life coaches'. "Who cares about life coaches, all we need is people who do good shit!" (Ps. She is a life coach.)
(Yes darling, you are supposed to show up and click through. The likelyhood is you should be following Berni's 'shit' anyway!)
If you think about it, anyone you meet in life can potentially be your life coach for a short moment. We can learn from every interaction if we are open for it.
'Passion', 'purpose' and 'goal' are big words
Hey, don't just stand there. Just because you don't know exactly what your passion is or where you are heading shouldn't stop you from exploring. Or worse still, you are still living your old dream and can't let go to find a new one.
I have some sympathy for the state-fright standing in front of 'finding my passion'. Magazines and blogs are full of 'Live your dream, be true to your own story' -type of encouragement. You are nobody these days if you are not chasing your dream and living your passion, right! I bet that mantra puts yet little more pressure on women who are already being bombarded about 'how to stay beautiful/ become perfect mothers/ work success'. How are they supposed to turn their ordinary existence into some magical dream life?
Dreams change, and so can your purpose. We will have different goals in different parts of our lives. And it's not all that serious. You should give yourself a break.
Don't get paralysed about finding your passion. Just keep doing stuff you enjoy. Do new things every day and be aware how doing they make you feel. Are you more excited? Happy? Nervous (this can be a good thing as you are stepping outside of your comfort zone!)? Fulfilled? (I actually hate that work - does anyone know what it really means?)
Something Jodi Ettenberg said when I interviewed her really stayed with me:
"Keep moving towards things that excite you more."
(Yes, you should check her out too and read her story for inspiration!)
Let new things draw you in
Whether you know where you are heading (the big dream - wau!) or haven't figured it out yet, the reason you are still stuck where you are may be because you talk yourself out of new things before letting them happen. Just think about last week. Someone proposed you to take part in a new kind of meeting or go to a party you wouldn't normally consider going. Did you go? Or someone proposed you read a new kind of book. No, you decided you don't have the time because you are busy doing the same stuff that you always do.
If you don't allow yourself be lured into something new, how can you ever find out? How can you ever start moving? And if you don't move how can you get there?
'But I'm not sure about the outcome!' you say. Well, to be honest, nobody is. That's the fun part. You can't control the process, only the way you take part in it.
If you are drawn to something new, don't be afraid to step towards it no matter how horrifying and strange it would feel in the beginning. Don't let your conscious mind talk yourself out of it! And yes, there is always a risk that it might be a complete waste of your time/ money.
Maybe the reason you don't know what you want is because you haven't tried enough things you don't like!