I'm 1,84m tall in height so it’s ironic to write a text with this title. But it's also so fitting. We women tend to underestimate ourselves and our power. The reasons are complex and connected to the patriarchal structures that are still present everywhere. We are raised small. And we are treated small, and as a restult we think small and we see ourselves small, even us tall ladies!
But above all we see our power as small, limited.
We are wrong of course. We completely underestimate ourselves, and we have no idea how much we can accomplish and how powerful we are.
Good news is we can all realise how powerful we are, sooner or later. If just one woman is so powerful, so is one change. But most times we we dismiss these things as unimportant.
Small changes can make a big difference, and this is my main lesson from my Driven Woman meetings.
My biggest 'aha' moment came with the exercise that forced me to look at my daily routines. I had to write down everything I do during a typical day. I mean everything.
This made me face an embarrassing fact, I was spending 2 to 3 hours everyday playing games on my phone. Having ADHD I could totally justify it as my brain’s need for stimulation, and my multitasking skills allowing me to watch a movie and play at the same time. I told myself it was brain games to exercise my memory.
But we both know this was total BS… In the end I was spacing out and getting dopamine through an addiction that was stealing my time and attention from far more important things like, life. It was the story I was telling myself to distract me from stepping outside my comfort zone and embracing the things I really wanted to do.
I committed then and there and told my group I'd stop playing and I knew they'd hold me accountable.
I deleted the game app and devoted one of the hours previously wasted to my new love: Ashtanga yoga. We had dated in the past for a few years, but I stopped when I got pregnant with my twin daughters and never thought of it again. Until that Driven Woman meeting, 8 years later.
It was exactly the right replacement: like playing, I do it everyday on my own, anywhere, for how long I feel like, but this habit doesn’t harm me; it makes me healthier, calmer, happier, not to mention it transformed my body in just 4 months.
And after that small switch from a negative habit to a positive habit everything started to fall into the right direction: I felt more centered, I won a big lawsuit, my non-profit organization went live and immediately started to reach more women and children. And I got my dream job after searching for almost one year! This job opportunity literally fell on my lap. In only one week since the headhunter first reached out to me, I was hired. I started as a head of global tax and I’m super excited, it’s a great position. My partner and my daughters are so proud of me and so am I.
I am eternally grateful to Driven Woman and our group for these powerful changes in my life. We shouldn’t underestimate the power of small changes, even if they are as simple as committing to stop playing with your phone.
Have you looked at your daily habits? What habit could you switch for another one? Are you curious to see what change it might bring?
Helena Tender is a DrivenWoman member in Switzerland